Shikamaru's Notches
by Tacky76
Summary: Shikamaru's notches are strikes that he makes as a ninja, whether in combat, life or love where he comes out on top. Brains vs Brawn kinda thing. Be warned these stories are so wrong!
1. Notch 1: Chunin Solution

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Shikamaru. They belong to Kishimoto Masashi**

**Just shorts on Shikamaru ONLY! Mainly from Shikamaru's POV.**

**This one is about his Chunin exam.**

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**Chunin Exam Solution**

"This is it." Nara Shikamaru thought to himself as he knelt. His hands were clasped together in that familiar seal he had always used. His dominant technique, the Shadow Imitation Jutsu - Kagemane no Jutsu, was stretched out thinly before him. His opponent Temari of the sand ninja's from Sunagakure knelt down in front of the edge of his shadow, formulating some sort of plan.

"Temari! Above you!" A lone voice called out from the stands.

Silently, he cursed the voice, he had hoped to end this early. Unfazed, he knew he had calculated further. The kunai-parachute he had rigged up and thrown was in position now. It cast its shadow onto the end of his own. He allowed himself a half smile, this would give him some extra range to complete his plan.

"Shit!" he heard her curse loudly as she leapt away.

Curving his shadow towards her left foot, she deftly jumped to the right, all the time watching his shadow and analyzing. Her mind was definitely thinking up some sort of counterattack.

"I'm not letting you get away!" he shouted hoping to distract her for a few moments more.

She gritted her teeth and grimaced at him with a mixture of hate and admiration. Her blonde hair ruffled by the wind of her speed. Silently she kept leaping away from his shadow as it snaked its way after her. Shikamaru forced himself to frown when his shadow had reached its maximum distance. She stopped where he thought she would and whipped her fan in frustration, contemplating something. By all rights her jutsus were stronger than his by far. Victory should have been easier than this war of attrition being played out.

As Shikamaru's shadow shrunk back she smirked evilly at him. "So you've dodged this trick too?" Shikamaru stated disappointedly.

She glanced at the sun before dropping her eyes back on him. Slamming her fan into the ground in front of her she hid behind it. Shikamaru was sure she was formulating some sort of plan. As he allowed his shadow to shrink, she had taken a peek at him and hidden herself again. He saw that and knew this was the time to act. He knew his timing was impeccable.

"Bunshin no…" she started but was stopped mid seal formation by an unfamiliar force.

The look of surprise that overcame her face as she stood paralyzed was amplified when her hands involuntarily separated themselves from the seal. Shikamaru couldn't help but allow himself a half grin as he declared, "The Shadow Imitation finally succeeded."

The confusion was evident in her expression. His shadow should have been nowhere near her. Shikamaru seeing this decided to turn his head and explain his trap. "I'll show you what's behind you."

Her expression changed to shock as she saw his shadow coming out of a hole behind her and attached to her own. A hole created in a previous fight that she had totally forgot to factor into this one. "You see it now." He continued his explanation. "That hole is the one Naruto dug and came out of. That's why its connected with the hole in front of you."

She gave him a sour sideways glare. "Did you use the shadows inside the tunnel to…?" she left the question hanging as he turned back to face her, her own face imitating the action.

"Correct." He responded flatly.

She looked at him shocked and then stunned when she finally realized what had happened. Shikamaru was stern as his mind thought over his strategy. Forcing her to over calculate the forward position, herding her into the right spot with his shadow, distracting her long enough for her to miscalculate her surroundings then entrapping her with a shadow she hadn't even thought of. It was a plan with no room for error as his chakra was now low.

He stepped forward watching the frustration form on her features. Her anger was welling up at her loss. He wondered how he was actually going to win this match. He had ran through 200 possible simulations in his head prior to the plan but not one of them was a path to victory. When he had closed the distance between them he was still at a loss. Staring at the girl before him he thought to himself, "Its too bothersome to lose to a girl.". Yet he was preparing himself to give up.

Then the thought struck him. Plan 201. He smirked at her and asked, "Do you want to give up?"

"Never." She replied through gritted teeth.

He proceeded to undo his imaginary sash at his waist, watching as she undid her real one. A look of sheer horror overtook her. Continuing he took off his invisible dress, watching as she slowly followed his actions and took off her own purple dress and threw it to the ground. He then proceeded to take off his pants, one leg at a time making sure one foot was always in his shadow. He saw that she had done the same. He then took off his fishnet shirt as she also followed his actions.

Standing face to face with each other, both in only their underwear Shikamaru thought to ask one last time. "Do you give up yet?"

She closed her eyes and screamed. "Never you dirty…"

He smiled and noticed she only had a wrap around her chest acting like a bra, so taking out his kunai he watched as she took out hers. The difference in chest size helped as he placed his blade in the middle of his chest in a flicking motion. Tears welled up in her eyes as she cut away at her own bra and it fell to the ground exposing her ample chest to the crowd, tossing the kunai aside when finished. The audience was riveted. Shikamaru's teammate Chouji had lost a lot of blood through his nose and fainted. Ino slapped a hand over her face, ashamed she was in the same team as him. Their sensei Asuma blushed and tried to sink into his seat beside Kurenai as she turned an accusatory gaze at him. "Did _you_ teach him that?" she asked icily.

Sand kunoichi were tough, embarrassment wouldn't stop them! Still refusing to give up Shikamaru decided to use his trump card. He didn't really feel like taking his undies off so, holding his arms out at chest height he made squeezing motions with his hands and stepped closer. He had noticed her claw like nails and the bloodlust she was now exuding. Gaara would have been proud of her killing aura if he wasn't so messed up.

"You're a D cup" he stated loudly so the audience could hear. "That means your hands will only get to within 3 to 4 inches of my chest. Not only that your arms are shorter."

He got closer and closer, his hand just about ready to touch her nipple.

"I GIVE UP!!" She screamed.

**End – Notch 1**

**A/N Please don't flame. This is based on the events of the first Chunin exam and is based on the Anime-one translation. The only thing I changed in dialogue was Temari saying "Shit" instead of "Shoot" which is what she actually said. Sounded kinda weak in a short so I changed it.**


	2. Notch 2: Weakpoints

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Shikamaru. They belong to Kishimoto Masashi**

**This one is about his mission to recover Sasuke**

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**Weakpoints**

Tayuya was the strongest female Shikamaru had faced by far and she had just increased the level of her power by another degree. Her ruby red hair grew to waist length as several gruesome horns grew out of her head, protruding forwards like some sort of gothic crown. Her skin changed into a dark brown hue, the many lightning like markings from the first release of her seal blending into the uniform colour. She stood glaring triumphantly at him as she watched Shikamaru desperately throw his last kunai at her. It was a poorly aimed throw, landing with a resounding thunk on the branch in front of her. She goaded him menacingly, "What are you aiming at?"

Shikamaru was kneeling on the tree, his arms poised to either side at shoulder height. He had come up with a plan at the last second before the Genjutsu, her illusionary technique, had hit him. His world warped and became a surrealist nightmare. He watched in terror as the flesh on his arms seemed to melt off his bones, like a Salvador Dali painting. His mind raced over the last of the battle information he had gleaned about her. She was smart, self confident, extremely powerful and she claimed the only weapon she needed was her flute and it was working well.

First he decided he needed to break free of the illusion. He screamed out from the pain the jutsu was inflicting on him. He used the opportunity to hide the pain he felt from using his shadow to snap his finger. The pain broke him free of the imaginary world. Staying calm he focused on pretending to still be captured by her technique. He only had one shot at executing this plan and he would make sure he would give it the best possible chance of success.

She snarled at him victoriously "Just how do you feel now? Being held up." Of the illusions she could create she felt this one was the most apt for him.

Shikamaru only grunted as she reached over to wrench the kunai out of the branch before her, intent on finishing him off with his own weapon. Silently, Shikamaru breathed a sigh of relief, it was what he had been gambling on. As she leapt towards him, dagger in hand, he made a quick prayer to unknown deities. "Die trash!" She roared.

As she drew her arm back to strike, he lunged at her, ramming his fist into her stomach. She stood momentarily baffled that her prey was mobile. Shikamaru concentrated quickly, knowing that his momentary action had stunned her. He knew he didn't have much time. Although he couldn't see her face, her hesitation spoke loudly of her surprise. That soon passed as she attempted to disembowel him. He smiled as he felt his jutsu completed, the dagger, centimeters away from providing air conditioning to his innards. "How many times do I have to tell you..." Shikamaru taunted, "the first hand is a feint. It's the most basic thing to land with the second hand."

He felt his Kage Kubi Shibari no Jutsu, his Shadow Neck Bind Technique travel up her body immobilizing her, he explained "Of course this second hand is not the same as before. This Shadow Neck Bind Technique can bind the opponent stronger as the distance gets closer."

"Dammit!" she cursed, "I got too close."

He needed to think out the rest of his strategy. He had run through nearly a hundred plans but could not find any to defeat her permanently. Playing for time he continued his taunting. "That's not where you failed… It's where you said 'My only weapon is this flute'"

The realization floored her as her body involuntarily shuddered. "It can't be…!?" she uttered in disbelief.

"Yes… I threw that dagger in front of you intending to miss, so you'd pick it up and approach me."

Regaining her calm composure, Tayuya grinned confidently. "Humph" She grunted "I must admit you've got some guts for a shit head!"

"Not only that, I'm also kind hearted." Shikamaru retorted. "Socking a defenseless woman goes against my policy, but you don't seem in any way defenseless."

Safely bound by his technique, he drew his fist back intending to punch her in the abdomen. As his fist approached impact, she momentarily broke free of his hold and caught his fist with her hand.

"Don't think that in beating the illusion, you gained the upper hand. Shit head!" She glowered menacingly at him.

"Dammit! It still can't bind." He cursed in his head. "Shit! But… I can't lose!"

He grimaced and planted his stance firmly. Concentrating on his chakra he moved his shadow limbs further up her body, intent on crushing her windpipe. "Just a tad…" he thought, but a sudden surge of her chakra saw his shadow hand retreat a little and his bind loosening.

"Holy shit! This chakra!! Even at this range, the chakra is overwhelming. The Shadow Neck Bind takes too much chakra… If I let go I'm done for." His mind continued to think to himself.

Both combatants grunted in exertion. Shikamaru tried desperately to bind her, she tried desperately to break his bind. Shikamaru's logical analysis went into over drive. "Think" he strategized. "I need time to think. Go to find a way to prevent her control of her massive chakra stores. I need time to find a solution. I need…" An odd tactic caught him. "It seems like I must use 'that' jutsu."

He turned his face slightly towards her aiming for her ear. "You know, I bet you've never had a boyfriend before have you?" he cooed.

"Shut up! Shit head!"

"I bet no boy has ever touched you or ever wanted to before either, have they?" he continued to question. "Especially with your cussing and temper. I bet you haven't even been kissed before?"

"None of your business! I'll kill you when I get out!" She promised him.

Shikamaru could only grin as he slowly and carefully leant over. He did not want to get gored by those vicious looking horns and he had thought of a plan to disrupt her. As he reached her neck, he slowly nudged her hair aside and kissed her skin, conscious to run his lips slowly over a small section of her nape.

"You SHIT!" She screamed struggling, her chakra fluctuating.

Shikamaru was pleased with her response and decided to pursue this plan to the end. "You know," he said as nonchalantly as he could. "If I'm going to die I may as well take something sweet with me."

He ran his tongue gently down her neck and across her jaw line. He felt her shiver and her chakra drop momentarily before increasing again to higher levels. It didn't matter to Shikamaru. As long as her control was inconsistent she would find it hard to break free. His chakra use on the other hand was being conserved. Slowly he allowed his shadow hands to drop a little and concentrated them on gently massaging her… erogenous zones.

Tayuya had never had anyone touch her like this before. She bit her lip trying to refocus her chakra but Shikamaru's warm breath and slow circular motions all over her body kept distracting her. She grit her teeth and stifled a moan, repeating to herself, "I'll kill you! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!"

She didn't realize she had lowered her chakra as she fought for her dignity. Shikamaru moved mechanically but purposefully, all the while waiting for an opportunity to attack. He controlled his shadows to reach her slim waist. He was actually surprised it was so slim. He squeezed gently and tickled her softly as she squirmed a little, caught between enjoying it, laughing out loud and stilling cursing and swearing to kill him. Her chakra control was erratic, sometimes rising to extreme highs sometimes extremely low. Shikamaru was trying to memories what series of motions produced what reaction and affected her chakra in what way.

A thump on the branch beside them alerted him to more trouble. A familiar voice sent chills down his spine. "I don't know what to do here, pineapple head. Should I kill you or kill her or maybe both of you?" The voice of Temari rang out, carrying a hint of anger at her memories of the Chunin exam.

"Who are you?" Tayuya tried to sound defiant.

This only brought a raised eyebrow to Temari, who answered her brashly. "Allies of the Leafs. The Shinobi of the Sands."

Shikamaru frowned at his luck. It had gotten from bad to worse. Concentrating now on his motions, Tayuya's reactions and talking to Temari, he spoke when he could. "I heard that we'd _come_…hmm… to terms with the traitor Sands, _but_… hmm… It's hard to believe you'd turn _tails_…hmmm…just like that."

Temari looked at the bizarre scene before her and shook her head. She was actually glad she was a Shinobi of the Sands now, looking at the Konoha ninja example in front of her. Then there were rumours of one of their legendary Sanins being a pervert too. She sighed, "We didn't willingly siege the Leafs. It was an order. It's the same kind of reason why I'm here." She looked at Shikamaru still at it. "Although if you want me to leave, I can. You seem to be a bit busy."

Shikamaru finally stopped and breathed a sigh of relief, expending his conserved chakra to bind Tayuya. Tayuya had death in her eyes as she spat out, "Let me kill him! I'll let you kill me if you just let me kill him first!"

Shikamaru looked at Temari a little worried. She smirked and shook her head. "I'd love to, but I'm sorry. I'm under orders."

Shikamaru said a silent prayer to his saviour the Hokage, "Ah! The Fifth did this. I'm saved. Thank you."

Out loud he said to Temari, "Do you mind stabbing her or something. I'm running out of chakra now that I'm not conserving it."

Temari eyed the boy before her who had defeated herself using underhanded tactics and was tempted not to save him. But orders were orders as she drew her kunai and slit Tayuya's throat.

"Damn you shit head!" were her last words before she gurgled in her own blood and died.

The blood from Tayuya sprayed onto Shikamaru and drenched his Chunin vest with it's stench. "Couldn't you have stabbed her in the back! My mother's going to scold me for having to wash this now! This is going to be so troublesome!"

For the third time in five minutes, she really felt like killing the ungrateful bastard.

"I'm under orders. I'm under orders. I'm under orders." She chanted to herself to calm down.

**End – Notch 2**

**A/N: This is based on the events of the Sasuke's retrieval mission and is based on a Manga translation. It's also a first draft so excuse the mistakes. Yes it's a pretty wrong solution and un-heroic at that. **


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